Godless Mom in the Bible Belt

I don't own a gun. I've never fired a gun. I grew up in a house that had several different hunting rifles but they sat mostly unused, on display as family heirlooms.

Obviously our Constitution guarantees us the right to own weapons, I don't want to take anyone's guns away from them. I have several dear friends who are hunters and I've no desire to eliminate their right to go kill animals (as long as they eat what they kill.)

What I want to know is why does this happen in the United States? Sure we own guns, but we're not the only country where people are armed. Occasionally you'll hear about this sort of event happening in other countries (Dunblane, Scotland and Erfurt, Germany come to mind) but mental-break, psychotic shoot-fests seem to happen predominantly in the United States.

Why do you suppose that is? Societal pressure, access to weapons, emotional disturbance, genetic predisposition, broken families, environmental toxins...all of the above? Regardless of the reason it is a sad, sad commentary on our society.

I started working again after a 6 year hiatus! Okay, so I don't actually have a job, I'm doing volunteer work for a friend who owns a very promising business.

I'm learning new things, I'm having a good time and I'm getting my butt away from the couch and the fridge....always a good thing. I'm thrilled to be doing something new, something that doesn't involve dishes and laundry. It is great to be part of something outside of my home and thrilling to think I am a part of something new and cutting edge.

Okay, so it doesn't take much to thrill me at this point in my life. But, for the first time in a long time I'm really excited to see what the new day will bring!

The smell of rich soil, crushed vegetation and crisp, fresh air. The feel of raw, untamed, powerful muscle coiled between your legs. A feeling of shared joy and shared exhuberance, shared freedom. The warm snuffle of a velvety muzzle pressed against your palm in affection. The well-earned sweat of physical exhaustion and the feel of fresh Timothy hay against your cheek. I love horses, I always have.

As a child my bedroom walls were papered with horses. I worked my ass off every year selling Girl Scout Cookies so I could spend two weeks every summer at horse camp. I convinced my parents to pay for riding lessons so I could spend more time with the beasts and when that didn't seem to sate my hunger they arranged for me to muck the stalls at a stable in the suburbs of Salt Lake City, hoping the dirty work would quell my passion. It didn't. My highschool friend Ginger introduced me to the beauty of show horses through her horse Taj Parada, son of the great stallion Gai Parada and I learned to love work horses through contact with my friend Judy from Southwest Equine Hospital in Phoenix, AZ.

I come from a long line of agricultural people. My mother was raised on a cattle ranch in Kansas and later in Wyoming, my grandfather was a farmer to the very core of his being. My Great Grandmother was raised on a horse farm in Kentucky and her father brought horses across the sea from Wales. The love of horses is in my blood and I have been feeling it's burn since I was a child.

Let's face it...little girls love horses, however most of them outgrow the obsession before they are teenagers. I've never outgrown it, in fact the hunger has grown progressively stronger as the years go by. I'm now 38 years old and I have yet to own a horse but I continue to feed my dream.

I live in the fourth largest city in the country and I married a city boy. I am surrounded by Old Navy and Olive Garden, Home Depot and Walmart. I drive my daughter to school on the HOV lane and my husband's office is on the 31st floor of a very tall building. I'm in the process of looking for land. I would love to find 10-15 acres just outside of town where I can have my horses and my husband can still have his professional sports and opera company. It may be wishful thinking but a girl can always hope.

I guess by now we all know that Mary Cheney is pregnant. We also know that both she and her father refuse to discuss the moral disconnect between her personal choices and the political bigotry they helped foster.

There is a brilliant post here by Dan Savage on exactly how screwed up their stance on this issue really is.

I personally don't believe Mary Cheney should be a parent and it has nothing to do with her sexual orientation. Where Mary is concerned, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and honestly I don't think we need any more people in this world who feel like they are above the rules which govern the rest of us. As far as her child goes, I hope he or she is healthy and can grow up happy and well balanced. Let's just hope the baby takes after the sperm donor and not the Cheney side of the family.

Check out this debate between Andrew Sullivan and Sam Harris on the whole existence of God/religion thing. Good stuff!

My sister died last night.

She was 21 years my senior yet somehow I was always the adult in our relationship.

She had a cornball sense of humor, a deep love for classic sci-fi and an even deeper love of nature. She was much happier sitting on the floor with a dog than sitting at the table with the adults.

She had a somewhat tragic life. For whatever reason she made poor choices in her personal life. Her existence was a constant struggle to deal with the consequences of her decisions, some days were worse than others and as a result her naturally sunny disposition was always shadowed by a subtle sadness.

She was diagnosed with leukemia three years ago and between the disease and the damned cure her bone marrow shut down and quit producing healthy blood. He heart and lungs followed and she died in her sleep after two months in the hospital.

I loved her deeply, I always felt loved and whole when she was around and I can only hope I had the same effect on her. So, I raise my glass to my sister, I will miss her very, very much.

The puppy has been running around killing all the chickens.

Yesterday we put a leash on the puppy.

Now we have to teach the puppy to play nice. This doesn't mean we beat the puppy into submission. It means we behave like adults and work with the puppy for the benefit of all.

Our system has ways of dealing with corruption and abuse of power. Let's hope our newly elected officials do the right thing and act with the welfare of our country in mind.