Thursday, September 01, 2005
Holy S***t, Now what?
With a title like that I bet you think I'm going to talk about the hurricane. Believe me, there is a lot to be said about the situation. Friday is a huge food drive day in Houston. If you live near an HEB grocery store you can drop off any food/personal hygiene products there. They will be distributed to the hurricane victims who are currently being sheltered in the Houston area.
My Holy S**t moment has to do with my daughter. Liz is a bright kid. I've always known that she is a bit smarter than the average bear but I've never really given much thought to the issue. Basically, if she had a question I've always made certain that she had the answer. Sometimes this meant hours of research on my part and in depth explanations for someone with very limited life experience but how can you deny knowledge to such a thirsty mind?
She said her first word at nine months and was speaking in full sentences by the time she was a year old. By the time she was two she was talking circles around her friends and frequently asked me to explain things to them. She recognized her first letter (R) before she was 13 months old and had the whole alphabet down before she was 15 months old (except for M and W...Those were confusing.) Life has just progressed from there and her knowledge and curiosity have increased every day.
Well, about a year ago I started to realize that by the time Liz hit kindergarten age (one year from now) she just might be beyond what public school could offer her. I began to look around at various private schools in our area. There are the snooty "My child is better than your child" schools, the overly religious "God before education" type places, the militaristic "We will discipline your child until she bleeds" schools, and the hearts and flowers "Let the child's interests determine the direction of her education" places. Now, all of these types of education may have their place. I'm sure there are individuals who thrive in each of the situations but none of them seemed right for my Liz.
Then, I found a place that seemed perfect. The teacher/student ratio never exceeds one to twelve. They specialize in teaching "gifted" kids and frequently take REALLY cool field trips in order to provide the children with serious hands-on education. The environment is friendly and relaxed but still structured enough to teach the kids that they have to follow certain rules and play the game in certain ways.
The problem? In order to gain admittance the kids have to take an IQ test and pass the social tests. I hate the thought of putting my child in a situation where she has to prove herself against something as weird as an IQ test. And frankly I was worried that I was seeing something in my child that wasn't there. I was afraid that the child who I considered to be brilliant was actually quite average.
Well, that fear was unfounded. Today we took Liz for her interview and she hit it out of the park. Her vocabulary especially was off the charts, the tester was literally floored by her abilities. They also identified some problems that may be developing because of her big brain. Issues with her knowledge outpacing her ability to put it to good use.
Now, I'm nervous. How do I make certain that I provide her with all she needs? How do I help that brain develop without it becoming a liability? How do I make sure that she enjoys not only advanced physics but also throwing a ball for the dog? How in the hell am I going to afford all this education?
I know there are some moms out there with smart kids, how have you handled your child's gifts? I know there are some teachers out there. What would you recommend? Help me! I'm lost!
My Holy S**t moment has to do with my daughter. Liz is a bright kid. I've always known that she is a bit smarter than the average bear but I've never really given much thought to the issue. Basically, if she had a question I've always made certain that she had the answer. Sometimes this meant hours of research on my part and in depth explanations for someone with very limited life experience but how can you deny knowledge to such a thirsty mind?
She said her first word at nine months and was speaking in full sentences by the time she was a year old. By the time she was two she was talking circles around her friends and frequently asked me to explain things to them. She recognized her first letter (R) before she was 13 months old and had the whole alphabet down before she was 15 months old (except for M and W...Those were confusing.) Life has just progressed from there and her knowledge and curiosity have increased every day.
Well, about a year ago I started to realize that by the time Liz hit kindergarten age (one year from now) she just might be beyond what public school could offer her. I began to look around at various private schools in our area. There are the snooty "My child is better than your child" schools, the overly religious "God before education" type places, the militaristic "We will discipline your child until she bleeds" schools, and the hearts and flowers "Let the child's interests determine the direction of her education" places. Now, all of these types of education may have their place. I'm sure there are individuals who thrive in each of the situations but none of them seemed right for my Liz.
Then, I found a place that seemed perfect. The teacher/student ratio never exceeds one to twelve. They specialize in teaching "gifted" kids and frequently take REALLY cool field trips in order to provide the children with serious hands-on education. The environment is friendly and relaxed but still structured enough to teach the kids that they have to follow certain rules and play the game in certain ways.
The problem? In order to gain admittance the kids have to take an IQ test and pass the social tests. I hate the thought of putting my child in a situation where she has to prove herself against something as weird as an IQ test. And frankly I was worried that I was seeing something in my child that wasn't there. I was afraid that the child who I considered to be brilliant was actually quite average.
Well, that fear was unfounded. Today we took Liz for her interview and she hit it out of the park. Her vocabulary especially was off the charts, the tester was literally floored by her abilities. They also identified some problems that may be developing because of her big brain. Issues with her knowledge outpacing her ability to put it to good use.
Now, I'm nervous. How do I make certain that I provide her with all she needs? How do I help that brain develop without it becoming a liability? How do I make sure that she enjoys not only advanced physics but also throwing a ball for the dog? How in the hell am I going to afford all this education?
I know there are some moms out there with smart kids, how have you handled your child's gifts? I know there are some teachers out there. What would you recommend? Help me! I'm lost!
posted by GodlessMom, 4:16 PM
17 Comments:
Watson Woodworth said:
All I do know (non-parent) is that public school, sadly, is no place for a smart person. Perhaps I wouldn't have ended up a curiously smart laborer.
Posted at 6:12 PM
Fred said:
Nigel - you're wrong. Most schools have programs for advanced learnees, staffed by the better teachers. I was a product of a public school and retired at 43. I think I did OK.
Some of my fellow teachers went to private schools while growing up, and the stories I hear are 2x worse than a public school. The kids have more money to abuse more things.
You may want to check into the offerings from public schools to see what's offered.
Some of my fellow teachers went to private schools while growing up, and the stories I hear are 2x worse than a public school. The kids have more money to abuse more things.
You may want to check into the offerings from public schools to see what's offered.
Posted at 6:45 PM
Lila said:
I guess it depends on what the public schools are like in your area. Our public schools growing up were actually quite good -- sort of "prep school"-like. But if that's not the case where you are, sure, try the private school thing. I have no idea how ordinary folks afford it... sometimes there's scholarship money for the bright kids like Liz.
Posted at 7:06 PM
Lucy Stern said:
Our daughter was in the gifted/talented classes in the Aldine district until we moved into the Spring ISD. She did well in the Above level classes. Many of the children in the above level classes are the ones who want to be in school and they are ready to learn. There were no problems with dicipline in these classes. She took AP classes as a Senior and almost had her Freshman year of studies earned before she entered school at UT. I think it all depends on what school district you live in. I know Spring, Klein, and Cypress School districts are really good with above level students. I grew up in HISD but I have know idea what it is like now. They do have magnet schools for the gifted students. Check out your school district and talk to school administrators to find out what they offer to those students. Good luck with your daughter.
I'll be goint to the HEB on Stubner and Louetta.
I'll be goint to the HEB on Stubner and Louetta.
Posted at 7:24 PM
Blueberry said:
There are some resources here: Gifted Children (esp. the FAQ). You might have yourself a candidate for Mensa there! Here's a link for your local group, Gulf Coast Mensa. I'm in the Lonestar group over here in Austin. I wish I'd had the benefit of good parental support as a kid. Maybe someone would have steered me away from this liberal arts degree. Would you like fries with that? haha! Just kidding, it's not that bad. ;-)
Posted at 7:59 PM
The Lazy Iguana said:
They said all the same crap about me, just because I "solved" the rubix cube puzzle by taking it apart and putting it back together. Apparently you can not cheat on an IQ test.
My advice is to do what you think is right. The eggheads will tell you all kinds of things.
And I agree with Fred. Public Schools are not as terrible as the right wing "tear down the public schools and have only private schools" people would have you believe. Public schools provide real world survival skills, private schools that pick and choose who they let in prepare kids for life about as much as Disney World does.
My advice is to do what you think is right. The eggheads will tell you all kinds of things.
And I agree with Fred. Public Schools are not as terrible as the right wing "tear down the public schools and have only private schools" people would have you believe. Public schools provide real world survival skills, private schools that pick and choose who they let in prepare kids for life about as much as Disney World does.
Posted at 12:00 AM
Meegan said:
This has got to be tough! I have no experience in this, but I know that when the time comes, I will struggle with this, too. I like the idea of "supporting" public schools, but I would do everything I could to put my kid in a private school if I didn't think she would thrive in a public. The one you describe sounds great. I hope she loves it!
Posted at 7:31 AM
United We Lay said:
I specialize in gifted and drop-out prevention students. I would be more than happy to help you with anything you need to further he development. My first suggestion: Get language tapes. Have her learn languages and listen to a lot of music. Something about both of those things helps keep the neurons and axons in the brain strong and active throughout the rest of their lives.
Posted at 9:45 AM
Zeppellina said:
Sounds like you are getting some good advice here.
You have a wonderfully gifted child,this is something to enjoy.
Don is right, look after her emotional side, and polanco has good advice about music and learning languages.
Art also gives good perception on shape,depth,colour, observation and just keeping the imagination fired.
Literature is a wonderful way of feeding an imagination while being enjoyable at the same time.
You must let us know how you get on.
You have a wonderfully gifted child,this is something to enjoy.
Don is right, look after her emotional side, and polanco has good advice about music and learning languages.
Art also gives good perception on shape,depth,colour, observation and just keeping the imagination fired.
Literature is a wonderful way of feeding an imagination while being enjoyable at the same time.
You must let us know how you get on.
Posted at 3:54 PM
TLP said:
We've had some bright kids in our family, and among our friends, and extended family.
What I think I have learned is that it will probably not matter in the end whether you put her in public school, private school, or do home schooling. I've seen amazingly bright kids in each situation, who are now grown people, and where they are presently doesn't seem to depend on the school they went to.
Anyone who is exceptionally bright will come out okay in the end. Do what your gut tells you to do. It will be fine, or it won't be fine, but whatever it will be, it won't be because of the school.
What I think I have learned is that it will probably not matter in the end whether you put her in public school, private school, or do home schooling. I've seen amazingly bright kids in each situation, who are now grown people, and where they are presently doesn't seem to depend on the school they went to.
Anyone who is exceptionally bright will come out okay in the end. Do what your gut tells you to do. It will be fine, or it won't be fine, but whatever it will be, it won't be because of the school.
Posted at 4:27 PM
Saur♥Kraut said:
Wow, lots of luck. You'll need it. I have two kids: my boyfriend's daughter who is gifted (about a 135 IQ) and my own son who is highly gifted with an IQ higher than Einstein's (191).
My daughter isn't a problem. She's very balanced.
It's my son.
I think that humans are all a system of balances. If your IQ is high, the rest of your skills may fall behind or end up lower. Very high IQs run in both families, and so I know that of which I speak. We've all suffered at one point or another. I developed my social skills very late (though I finally caught up with my peers by the time I was in my mid-20s).
My son is beyond brilliant in so many ways. For instance, he is only 12 but passing all his college practice SATs. He's also involved in an internet group, designing and modifying programs and does testing for them. They don't know he's only 12, and he writes and thinks as I do so they couldn't be expected to catch it. I allow him to do it because his brilliant mind craves challenges.
However, he must be homeschooled. We couldn't get him in classes that were advanced enough, and he was quietly suffering because of it. Oh, he'd try to be polite, but it was useless. He'd absentmindedly keep tapping his pencil when he was done with his assignment (5 minutes in), etc.
His social skills were never that great. After all, he has the mental level of a college student. How would you like to be plopped down into a 4th grade class and have to deal with all those kids? So, though he gets along great with adults, he has areas he never developed and never may have the opportunity to.
Is it necessary? Maybe not. After all, most of his life will be spent interracting with adults, not kids. However, there are certain skills and confidence that are acquired in the teen stages. He's about to become a teen, but how will he learn? Happily, my boyfriend (The Other Half) is basically in arrested development so it may work out quite well... ;o)
My daughter isn't a problem. She's very balanced.
It's my son.
I think that humans are all a system of balances. If your IQ is high, the rest of your skills may fall behind or end up lower. Very high IQs run in both families, and so I know that of which I speak. We've all suffered at one point or another. I developed my social skills very late (though I finally caught up with my peers by the time I was in my mid-20s).
My son is beyond brilliant in so many ways. For instance, he is only 12 but passing all his college practice SATs. He's also involved in an internet group, designing and modifying programs and does testing for them. They don't know he's only 12, and he writes and thinks as I do so they couldn't be expected to catch it. I allow him to do it because his brilliant mind craves challenges.
However, he must be homeschooled. We couldn't get him in classes that were advanced enough, and he was quietly suffering because of it. Oh, he'd try to be polite, but it was useless. He'd absentmindedly keep tapping his pencil when he was done with his assignment (5 minutes in), etc.
His social skills were never that great. After all, he has the mental level of a college student. How would you like to be plopped down into a 4th grade class and have to deal with all those kids? So, though he gets along great with adults, he has areas he never developed and never may have the opportunity to.
Is it necessary? Maybe not. After all, most of his life will be spent interracting with adults, not kids. However, there are certain skills and confidence that are acquired in the teen stages. He's about to become a teen, but how will he learn? Happily, my boyfriend (The Other Half) is basically in arrested development so it may work out quite well... ;o)
Posted at 5:18 PM
BarbaraFromCalifornia said:
Both of my children tested as gifted, which is not necessarily a gift, when met with the comparisions, competition and pressures that they undertake.
As a parent, I made sure my children were properly stimulated, exposing them to art, music, physical education, etc., and kept them as busy as possible. They both went to public school, and were a part of the GATE program.
Check it out, and make sure that it will not put your Liz under any more pressure than is necessary.
Good luck!!
As a parent, I made sure my children were properly stimulated, exposing them to art, music, physical education, etc., and kept them as busy as possible. They both went to public school, and were a part of the GATE program.
Check it out, and make sure that it will not put your Liz under any more pressure than is necessary.
Good luck!!
Posted at 8:19 PM
said:
I saw your link in Swifty's blog and had to drop by...
love love love your handle. I too, am a godless mom in the bible belt...Alabama to be exact. And I have a biracial child...oh the shame of it all!!!
My child actually goes to an excellent public school. It may be due to the fact that it's 5 miles away from a military base, but nonetheless it's wonderful. Even as a single mother I could afford to put my child in a private school but because all private schools here are Christian, I choose not to. That plus the snob factor, I just couldn't deal with it. Maybe you could give the public school a chance, see how she does. You say she is very fluent, She might be able to help her peers understand things from a kindergartern's perspective that a teacher could not convey to her students, and in turn help herself. My son is not necessarily IQ genious, but he has a unique intellegence of grasping concepts and a thirst for knowledge that the other students learn from. His teacher says in her 10 years teaching she has never had to explain more concepts and ideas to any other single pupil and this in turn helps everyone learn. I said all of that to say this: Your child has been given a gift, which in turn could help others. I volunteer in the reading program in his class and therefore am able to carefully monitor his progress compared to other students in his class. If you have the time, you could volunteer with her class see it's working out. If she is simply too bored or frustrated from lack of challenge, I would say go for it.
love love love your handle. I too, am a godless mom in the bible belt...Alabama to be exact. And I have a biracial child...oh the shame of it all!!!
My child actually goes to an excellent public school. It may be due to the fact that it's 5 miles away from a military base, but nonetheless it's wonderful. Even as a single mother I could afford to put my child in a private school but because all private schools here are Christian, I choose not to. That plus the snob factor, I just couldn't deal with it. Maybe you could give the public school a chance, see how she does. You say she is very fluent, She might be able to help her peers understand things from a kindergartern's perspective that a teacher could not convey to her students, and in turn help herself. My son is not necessarily IQ genious, but he has a unique intellegence of grasping concepts and a thirst for knowledge that the other students learn from. His teacher says in her 10 years teaching she has never had to explain more concepts and ideas to any other single pupil and this in turn helps everyone learn. I said all of that to say this: Your child has been given a gift, which in turn could help others. I volunteer in the reading program in his class and therefore am able to carefully monitor his progress compared to other students in his class. If you have the time, you could volunteer with her class see it's working out. If she is simply too bored or frustrated from lack of challenge, I would say go for it.
Posted at 8:29 PM
said:
We're going through the same thing. Family and friends tell us our daughter is "special" (and she is, regardless of the testing) because she can just kick butt when it comes to "kindergaten skills."
And we're sending her off to public school.
I figure you can punt on the intellectual stuff until about the fourth grade (well, I mean public v private and the sort). But don't punt on the social skills that any decent public school will provide her.
It's exactly why we shifted her to a more "public" child care, but we didn't "need" to do it. I want her to see other stuff than a nice, white, suburban family.
"See, the world and go live in it. I don't care how 'smart' you are, you've got to see it."
And we're sending her off to public school.
I figure you can punt on the intellectual stuff until about the fourth grade (well, I mean public v private and the sort). But don't punt on the social skills that any decent public school will provide her.
It's exactly why we shifted her to a more "public" child care, but we didn't "need" to do it. I want her to see other stuff than a nice, white, suburban family.
"See, the world and go live in it. I don't care how 'smart' you are, you've got to see it."
Posted at 7:16 PM
surly girl said:
i read about your little girl and it reminded me of my own Small Person - at five and a bit she's reading fluently and running rings round the others in her class. i thought long and hard about private schooling - i had a private primary education and loved it. however, money aside, i have to consider her integration into her peer group. the school she goes to is excellent at identifying the high-achievers and making sure they're encouraged to stretch their learning. at the same time she mixes with children from all walks of life which i think is equally as important as i fell the child as a whole should be nurtured.
just my two-pennorth....love your blog.
just my two-pennorth....love your blog.
Posted at 4:39 AM
Kristie said:
I went to public school... I was tested in 3rd grade for the Gifted Program. They used to bus us once a week to another schoo, along with other bussed students and we would do "gifted stuff" - things to stimulate us, projects to work on over the week, competitions to look forward to. IN junior high we had english and social studies w/a Gifted teacher. Again, more projects, competitions and such. ALso we were encouraged to tutor our friends and younger kids. IN high school, we had seminars once every 6 weeks where we would meet in the library, do a couple of projects and learn about something interesting. I have to say that in High School it wasnt as stimulating, but in that setting we had the option of taking Advanced Placement, duel enrollment or just the hard classes that not many other students took chemistry).
On a side note-- When your child was excelling in her Verbal skills, was she developing her motor skills at the same rate? Like my son (14 months) began walking at 9 months and by one could move about better than most toddlers twice his age. He climbs, throws/catches larger balls, runs, etc. But he doesnt talk much. He says Cat. Just curious. I am not worried about him, he seems bright to me, (understands most of what i say to him), just being nosy.
-k-
On a side note-- When your child was excelling in her Verbal skills, was she developing her motor skills at the same rate? Like my son (14 months) began walking at 9 months and by one could move about better than most toddlers twice his age. He climbs, throws/catches larger balls, runs, etc. But he doesnt talk much. He says Cat. Just curious. I am not worried about him, he seems bright to me, (understands most of what i say to him), just being nosy.
-k-
Posted at 9:58 AM
Kristie said:
ALso (i know i am getting long winded now), WHat i remember most about being in the gifted classes early on was that there were the kids that were obviously Geniuses. (the really brainy ones) they seemed to lack in the creative areas. They could spout off facts about things, places and people i, at 9 years old like them, had never heard of. But when it came time to work on the projects that involved art, poetry and music, they were all stumped while i did just fine. i did go thru a period of time in junior high where i knew i was "smarter" (i dont like to say it that way, but i am at a loss of another way to put it) but i didnt feel as smart as the kids in my gifted class (btw- there were 12 of us from 7th grade to 12th). I was like the "gifted airhead". My parents always just told me to do my best and never pressured me to get staight A's or made feel bad when i didnt get them (which i didnt). Just encourage her strong points and make sure she has fun no matter what she's involved in.
Posted at 10:07 AM
About Me
- Name: GodlessMom
- Location: Houston, Texas, United States
I was born and raised in Salt Lake City, Utah. I've been happily married for ten years to someone I've known since I was eleven years old. We are the parents of a wonderful four year old girl.
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