Godless Mom in the Bible Belt

Isn’t your capacity for grief an American luxury bought by the very things you grieve over? How is your grief for something that your rationality tells you are out of your control anymore real than grief for a fictional character in a fictional place? The sorrow you have fostered is fictional, the detachment makes it so, and the reasoning that, hey this is real life though, is flawed because it isn’t close enough to affect anyone within your circle of influence. Feeling helpless is a vicious cycle where you don’t want to care because you feel helpless and when you try to not care the guilt revives the cycle and you end up caring more and feeling more helpless than you did to begin with. How does this help anyone?
When you have this grief do you think that it could be nurtured in an environment where you were in constant jeopardy? Is it your privileged life that is actually fueling your charitable outpouring of emotion? How can you feel bad for yourself, and want to be “blissfully unaware”, about feeling bad about other people? You can feel bad for yourself for feeling bad for other people, but ask yourself if that is really a sacrifice.
You’re a citizen of the most powerful and privileged country in the world. If you were part of the denizens that make up the have-nots—an overlooked necessary because there are finite resources and they don’t have because we do— wouldn’t you want someone in your current position to do more than protest, write some letters and care really really hard?

What spurned me to write this is that you have this bleeding heart post, and then at the bottom a picture, of what in other countries can be considered opulence, is a fireplace and pets that are probably better fed than the starved Iraqi children that need to be worried about being burned and choked by phosphorus.

Ah! An interesting post and an interesting response. I don't think I would've put it so harshly, but anonymous has some valid points.

However, I think Godless Mom is correct in decrying the use of white phosphorous. It is something that we should never have used in an attack.

You see, anonymous, you appear to be saying that defense of the country, or even war (because not all war is defense) is justified because America is a great nation and it keeps us on top, allowing us the luxuries we have.

But the situation is much more complex than that.

Not all wars are easily justified, and certainly some of the methods we use in wars are wrong. I don't say that easily; both of my siblings are in the armed forces. Actually, they would probably agree with me.

Still, I agree that we are living privileged lives. And yet, I argue that we all have earned those lives, and don't have the military solely to thank for that.

Cute picture, BTW! Precious little animals...

Godless, i know what you mean about latching onto a subject and not being able to let it go. I can't watch the news everyday, i would get depressed, and in fact, I used to be one of those people who blissfully were unaware. Then i tried reading it everyday, but it was too much. So now, i read/watch the news only once a week, or maybe every 2 weeks, and i usually latch onto one thing or another and thats my thing until the next time i update myself. So i have found a balance that works for me. Granted, towards the end of my week-cycle, i am not as informed as i am in the beginning, but at least i am sane.

Also, do you ever feel guilty about writing about something serious, and then following it up with a picture of your pets? I do, but i do it anyway. I see that anonymous attacked you for it, but this is your blog. I know in my blog, i just let my thoughts flow as they do in real life and in real life i may easily jump from something serious to something cute and fluffy to brighten my mood and the mood of others around me. There is nothing wrong with making others smile after making them think.

What a wonderful picture.

It sounds as if you are surrounded by good energy, which include a loving husband, a wonderful daughter and an adorable puppy.

Have a good THanksgiving.

I love the photo; that is so sweet!

To Anonymous,

Could you tell us about 'grief' please. Enlighten us as to how it's constituted. What determines its authenticity? Where is it made? Is it only the poor who can grieve for the poor? Does being middle-class or above somehow taint emotion, perhaps diluting it, making it a poor imitation of the 'real' mcoy, whatever that may be? I'm confused. Your argument makes as if you have something substantial to say, but on close examination, is piss-poor.

Do you know anything about this lady? Have you taken the trouble to read her posts? Why not read 'The calm before the storm', September 22. And please take the trouble to find out what she does for a living. You might be surprised. She cares. About life. Any life. It's who she is.

You think you can assess all a person is from glancing at a photograph? I doubt it. But you... well, you're easy to read; there's nothing more to you than petty resentment and bile, born of envy. You can do nothing more than scurry around like the rat you are, and snipe, without fear of exposure.

Many bloggers stick their necks out in proffering their beliefs and opinions for public scrutiny. I suggest you respect that. And if you must place an argument, strive to make it rational, and in your case, I would work on logical rigour. It's so much better than making a pratt of yourself by presenting an over-emotional, groundless, anti-american tirade.

Wanker!

Regards,
The Scarlett Pimpernel.

Hey Anonymous, Just gonna make me get all heavy today, aren't ya? :)

I have to confess, I don't really understand the point you are trying to make, although it seems to me that you didn't read my post very carefully.

"Isn’t your capacity for grief an American luxury bought by the very things you grieve over?"

Yes, I guess you could look at it that way. Although, I'd like to think that my capacity for grief is human empathy. No more, no less.

"How is your grief for something that your rationality tells you are out of your control anymore real than grief for a fictional character in a fictional place?"

I think if you re-read my post you will see that I stated that I cannot convince myself that these things are out of my control. In fact, I feel that I as a citizen of this country I actually do possess a certain amount of control over what is happening. Therefore, since it is real and I do have a certain amount of control I feel that my heavy heart is in fact very real and cannot be equated with fictional grief for a fictional character.

"How can you feel bad for yourself, and want to be “blissfully unaware”, about feeling bad about other people?"

I don't feel bad for myself, in fact I stated in my post that I am very fortunate, I freely acknowledge it. I think I can have a heavy heart without feeling bad for myself. I also never said that I want to be blissfully unaware, I simply said that some folks are more comfortable going through life that way.

"Is it your privileged life that is actually fueling your charitable outpouring of emotion?"

So, in order to actually have legitimate emotions regarding the suffering of others we have to be suffering ourselves? I don't understand that line of thought.

"Feeling helpless is a vicious cycle where you don’t want to care because you feel helpless and when you try to not care the guilt revives the cycle and you end up caring more and feeling more helpless than you did to begin with. How does this help anyone?"

You're right, feeling helpless is a vicious cycle. However, I said that I at times feel hopeless, not helpless. There is a big difference.

"You’re a citizen of the most powerful and privileged country in the world. If you were part of the denizens that make up the have-nots—an overlooked necessary because there are finite resources and they don’t have because we do— wouldn’t you want someone in your current position to do more than protest, write some letters and care really really hard?"

Yes, I would. Just because protesting, writing letters and caring are the things I wrote about in this post doesn't mean that they are the total extent of my activism. You don't know me well enough to assume any such thing one way or another.

Are my pets better off than the children of Iraq? Yes, they are. You can put whatever spin you want on that.

"Isn’t your capacity for grief an American luxury bought by the very things you grieve over?"

No. Capacity for grief cannot be defined by what you have and certainly has little to do with what you grieve over. Grief is not an American luxury. Grief is universal. To grieve over the attrocities committed by your government and the economic squalor in other countries brought about by American business practices is not a luxury. It makes us human. I did not choose to be born in America. I do choose to be an active participant in the human race, doing what I can for those I can help, and grieving when I have done all that I can do and yet these is still so much more to be done.


"Is it your privileged life that is actually fueling your charitable outpouring of emotion?"

No. Even Jesus was aware that no matter how much you have, there is only so much you can do. It's one of the reasons why Christians are not required to give away all of their excess to the poor, only 10%. The idea is that contributing to charity and helping the poor will only do so much, but people must help themselves out of the situation they are in. If they cannot, others can help make their lives better, but they cannot pull them out of poverty at the risk of becoming poor themselves because that doesn't help anyone. It is true that someone who has more is able to take the time to become more aware of the situation, and therefore, show more emotion, however, what I have does not invalidate my feelings or my need to help those who do not have as much. In fact, if I did not have what I do, I would not be able to feel sorry for or help anyone. It is because I have excess that I am able to help those who are wanting. It is not the emotion itself but the way the emotion is put to use that shows whether a person is worthy of what they have. If Godless mom felt sorry for these people but never did anything to help them, your point would be a good one. However, most of us are active in politics and charity work, and therefore, have found ways not to exploit our wealth but to use it in a constructive manner. I find it insulting that you would say that we don't have the right to our grief because we have more than some others. It is even more insulting that you suggest that just because we have aquired wealth (and all of us have worked very hard to do so) that we should be in support of harmful government policies whether they are instituted in this country or another.

"Feeling helpless is a vicious cycle where you don’t want to care because you feel helpless and when you try to not care the guilt revives the cycle and you end up caring more and feeling more helpless than you did to begin with. How does this help anyone?"

Feeling helpless is an excellent time to take stock of what you can do, even though you are overwhelmed by what you can't. It's a vicious cycle, but it keeps you in line and reminds you that no matter how helpless you FEEL, there are others who are ACTUALLY helpless and at least you can do something to help improve their lives.

"You’re a citizen of the most powerful and privileged country in the world. If you were part of the denizens that make up the have-nots—an overlooked necessary because there are finite resources and they don’t have because we do— wouldn’t you want someone in your current position to do more than protest, write some letters and care really really hard?"

What, exactly, do you suggest we do? Keeping ourselves informed, working for and donating to charity, and writing letters is more than most people do. Does this mean it is enough? No. Does this mean we choose not to do more when the opportunity presents itself? No. Giving of yourself without giving up yourself is a difficult line to walk, and who are you to suggest that any one of us isn't doing enough, especially when you know us through the internet and not personally? Isn't it possible that Godless chooses to keep some of her good works private? Again, Jesus was pretty much against people shouting their good deeds from the rooftops. A charitable act gone undiscussed is still a charitable act.

What an anonymous (cowardly) tosser!

For someone clearly with something to prove, s/he really doesn't want to get under the microscope him/her self.

Lovely pets, and that cat is quite big. I like that in a cat.

I try to stay informed, but I also know this ..

If I spent as much time worrying about all these political and world issues as you do, I'd be much nuttier than I am. But like you said, everybody is different.
One thing recovery from alcoholism is teaching me is to Let It Go. I consciously have to do that with everything. I can obsess over anything til I will start trying to drink it away.
So I just Let It Go.

Have a wonderful weekend with this beautiful weather.

Echo is so cute! Anex Snoopy Pez loves to sit near the fireplace, too.

Yes, you deserve a break. Have a relaxing and light T-giving!

Totally irrelevant, but cute: We have 3 cats and 2 dogs. My husband took a great picture of all 7 of us on our Queen bed. it gets a little tight, but the love makes up for it. And out olderst cat is just as big as yours. I think he's 19 pounds, whish is bigger than our small dog.

Have a great Thanksgiving. We're going to Pittsburg so that my grandparents, who wouldn't come to my wedding because I married a hispanic, can meet my husband for the first time. Boy, am I looking forward to this!

Wow PC, what a big moment for you and your hubby. I really hope that everything goes well and that you have a peaceful and harmonious Thanksgiving.

I want to see a picture of your critters!

They're WASPs, so it will at least be peaceful.

I'll skip the politics and just comment on the picture. NICE!

Have a great weekend, and enjoy your Thanksgiving.