Godless Mom in the Bible Belt

I grew up in a household where there was little or no discussion about human sexuality. My parents are wonderful people but they are the product of their generation and people who were born in the 1920s don't generally talk much about sex.

The sum-total of the sex education I received from my parents came when I was 7 years old. Mom and I were on a cross-country trip stopping in various states to "collect" the capitol buildings when I saw a two cows in a field getting friendly with each other. I asked my mom what they were doing. She told me they were making baby cows, then she said under her breath "Humans do the same thing."

For many years afterward I had strange images in my head of men and women standing in pastures doing something that resembled a piggy back ride. I knew from my mom's reaction to the whole subject that "private parts" were probably involved but for the life of me I couldn't make head nor tales of the whole thing.

Needless to say I eventually figured it out. A combination of street education and research in the biology section of the library put me straight by the time I was 11 but I was 16 before my parents and I ever talked about the subject again (and by that time it was too late for them to really make much of an impression.)

I swore when I had Liz that sex would be as comfortable a subject to talk about in our household as the subject of grocery shopping. I have been absolutely up front with her about every aspect of the subject. We have taken apart tampons and talked about how they work. We have talked about eggs and sperm and the parts of our bodies involved in reproduction. We have looked at charts of body parts and discussed the reproductive differences between mammals, fish, birds, reptiles and amphibians. I don't feel that any sex education is complete without discussion of the social and emotional impact of sexual activity and I've started discussing these topics with her also (although there is a limit to what a 4 year old can understand in this area.)

Liz responds with the typical curiosity of a child. I have already answered questions regarding masturbation, homosexuality, birth control and whether or not it "feels good." She is particularly interested in different methods of reproduction, live birth vs. egg laying, internal vs. external fertilization. The subject is very interesting to her.

Now there are consequences to this much open honesty. She has loudly asked questions on the subject in the middle of the mall and in quiet restaurants. She also has a tendency to discuss the subject among her peers with the same ease that she discusses Cinderella's dress color. I have warned all of my friends that she is likely to tell their kids things that they might otherwise be innocent of. But I'm willing to deal with these slight embarrassment and the potential wrath of other parents because I don't feel that this is a subject that should be hidden from a child. I'm hoping that these other parents at least take comfort in the fact that the information their children get from my Liz will at least be accurate.

Eventually the day will come when Liz will have to make personal decisions regarding her own sexuality. I'm hoping that when that time comes she will have the knowledge and self confidence to make wise, informed choices. With any luck she will also feel comfortable talking to her parents about the issue, if we don't make a big deal out of it now, perhaps it won't be a big deal later.